Entry tags:
week 13 | monday evening
[ sup, minyans. sometime during the day, your tablets will beep with a new message and it'll show -- ]
You have been added to chatroom "FUCKING POS ALIENS FUUUUCK" by user RHY5-W1NZ.
RHY5-W1NZ: hey
RHY5-W1NZ: we should probably talk
RHY5-W1NZ: probably about the whole being possessed and murdering our friends thing
RHY5-W1NZ: "friends"
RHY5-W1NZ: but also whatever else i guess
RHY5-W1NZ: are you guys doing okay?
You have been added to chatroom "FUCKING POS ALIENS FUUUUCK" by user RHY5-W1NZ.
RHY5-W1NZ: hey
RHY5-W1NZ: we should probably talk
RHY5-W1NZ: probably about the whole being possessed and murdering our friends thing
RHY5-W1NZ: "friends"
RHY5-W1NZ: but also whatever else i guess
RHY5-W1NZ: are you guys doing okay?
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ChoseTheBird has entered the room, etc. ]
ChoseTheBird: They were our friends, Rhys. They still are.
ChoseTheBird: Dave, I hope you received my message... Please don't hold blame against yourselves...
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turntechGodhead: not saying im gonna do shit to them because im not
turntechGodhead: but i can count on one hand the number of them who qualify as friends
turntechGodhead: maybe two hands if i bother to count dead people
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AgrestedDevelopment: sorry
[that's
what he settled with]
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RHY5-W1NZ: no they're fucking not, liz
RHY5-W1NZ: "oh we're gonna save everyone oh we're gonna do what's right oh the power of friendship will save us all in the end BLUH BLUH BLUH"
RHY5-W1NZ: go fuck yourselves, all of you
RHY5-W1NZ: i mean not you three i guess
RHY5-W1NZ: we were a team all along, who knew
RHY5-W1NZ: NOT US APPARENTLY
RHY5-W1NZ: AND WE'RE THE BAD GUYS HERE??
RHY5-W1NZ: FUCK EVERYONE
[ and then a slight pause where he realizes wait, he should probably say something else other then yelling. ]
RHY5-W1NZ: dave. i liked you. i'm sorry you were an alien too. you shouldn't have had to kill your mom. that's fucked up.
RHY5-W1NZ: adrien. i know now's not the time to talk about marinette and i'm still really angry about it all but
RHY5-W1NZ: whatever. who cares. more importantly, we were aliens??
RHY5-W1NZ: whatever you did isn't your fault because aliens are fucking stupid
RHY5-W1NZ: you guys are KIDS
RHY5-W1NZ: WTF!!!!
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ChoseTheBird: I disagree... I ... You can feel that way. I don't blame you or anyone. There are a few people I cherish deeply and I want them to make it out of this.
ChoseTheBird: I'm sorry.
ChoseTheBird: None of this should have happened but it did. None of us deserved this.
ChoseTheBird: I don't view any of you as those monsters... for whatever it's worth, which I understand may not be much. Don't apologize - please.
ChoseTheBird: ...
ChoseTheBird: I'm almost certain I'm not helping.
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turntechGodhead: you can disagree all you want
turntechGodhead: exactly three people talked to me for any reason other than using me in some shitty anti alien plan since i couldnt be an alien any longer
turntechGodhead: after my trial
turntechGodhead: and the shit they said to me during said trial doesnt compare to what they said to adrien and mari
turntechGodhead: they almost werent fucking right
turntechGodhead: if yuno and i had voted for either of them it could have been entirely wrong and then where the fuck would we be
turntechGodhead: because guess fucking what most people werent willing to solve the case to be sure who the alien was
turntechGodhead: mari was literally called a whiny bitch for attempting it
turntechGodhead: the only reason they "won" is that their baseless hunch it had to be adrien was right
turntechGodhead: and six voters werent convinced of that so it nearly failed
turntechGodhead: and oh hey guess what if they got it wrong theyd just kill all the other people they thought it could be
turntechGodhead: yeah sure def feeling the friendship what the fuck i HAVE friends
turntechGodhead: the people who give a fuck about me are my friends they are not all these other assholes who basically prioritized themselves over anything else and always will
turntechGodhead: adrien definitely isnt a monster even if hes in the possession club
turntechGodhead: hes basically a harleybert god
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AgrestedDevelopment: about everything
[AgrestedDevelopment is typing... ... ...]
AgrestedDevelopment: everything about me, i mean
[and, because he isn't comfortable talking shit about people:]
AgrestedDevelopment:: I told Dave
[there's a pause before it starts up again. AgrestedDevelopment is typing... ... ... ... ... ...]
AgrestedDevelopment: I remember what it did
AgrestedDevelopment: the alien
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RHY5-W1NZ: shit
RHY5-W1NZ: SHIT!!!
RHY5-W1NZ: WHY WOULD THEY LET YOU REMEMBER THAT WTF
RHY5-W1NZ: THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT
RHY5-W1NZ: they let me die even though i warned EVERY SINGLE FUCKING PERSON THAT JACK WAS UNSTABLE
RHY5-W1NZ: THEY USE DAVE AND DON'T EVEN ASK HIM HOW HE IS AFTER HE KILLED HIS MOM
RHY5-W1NZ: ADRIEN REMEMBERS WHAT HE DID??? KILLED HIS PARTNER
RHY5-W1NZ: WHY IS EVERYONE HERE SO SHITTY
RHY5-W1NZ: WHERE'S THE BASIC FUCKING SYMPATHY
RHY5-W1NZ: NONE OF US KNEW WHAT WE WERE
RHY5-W1NZ: why the FUCK was elizabeth the only one who got ANY FUCKING SYMPATHY
RHY5-W1NZ: THE REST OF US GOT SCREWED OVER TOO, YOU ASSHOLES
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ChoseTheBird: I'm sorry.
[ Legitimately... between her guilt, her pity, and now sadness - that's all she can muster for the three. ]
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turntechGodhead: adrien they werent right
turntechGodhead: about you
turntechGodhead: unless youre willing to agree they were also right about me
turntechGodhead: and liz and rhys
turntechGodhead: ok shit i dont know why im saying any of this in text youre right fucking here
turntechGodhead: this is so stupid
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AgrestedDevelopment: i think that wasn't them but him? his choice
AgrestedDevelopment: anyway
[dave is getting kicked lightly irl before this]
AgrestedDevelopment: that's not the same
AgrestedDevelopment: they guessed a lot of his mindset right
AgrestedDevelopment: & idk you told me to log in
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rhys' own reply will be delayed -- less rapid fire anger and more like he's trying to figure out how to word this. ]
RHY5-W1NZ: when
RHY5-W1NZ: i was in the vents
RHY5-W1NZ: it
RHY5-W1NZ: when it was in the vents, it stopped bothering to alter my memories
RHY5-W1NZ: i was in too much pain to think straight and i thought i was dead?
RHY5-W1NZ: i should have been dead
RHY5-W1NZ: but it was more like i was dying instead
RHY5-W1NZ: shit i just want to say that i get it
RHY5-W1NZ: kind of
RHY5-W1NZ: i get feeling like YOU did it
RHY5-W1NZ: but you didn't
RHY5-W1NZ: none of us did anything wrong
RHY5-W1NZ: and even though no one else is fucking bothering to tell us this
RHY5-W1NZ: i'll say it
RHY5-W1NZ: we did nothing wrong and we didn't deserve this
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She puts her own personal feelings aside. ]
ChoseTheBird: They had no right to bring a theory up in the way they did. I'm owning a biased viewpoint, I can't deny that fact, so forgive me...
ChoseTheBird: But. I... I don't remember anything. I remember the fear in people's eyes and how much Clover hated seeing me alive - but Adrien, Rhys.... I'm so sorry...
ChoseTheBird: ...there's nothing we can undo. We can't feel better instantly or even pretend those moments weren't an utter violation of our entire being.
ChoseTheBird: Please, live. Adrien and Dave - please live no matter what anyone else has said, good intention or not. I don't want to start an argument about what should have happened in the trial, it'll get us no where but angry over events we have to live (or not live) with.
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turntechGodhead: and like mom and emilys bodies
turntechGodhead: so yeah
turntechGodhead: rose can decide if shes gonna kill me or not
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AgrestedDevelopment: that's not what I meant
AgrestedDevelopment: but everyone else remembers so if
AgrestedDevelopment: maybe it's weird. but knowing what he did is
AgrestedDevelopment: at least no one had to tell me? or blame me without me knowing why
AgrestedDevelopment: and. it's getting easier to tell which part is me and which was him
AgrestedDevelopment: so if you guys want
AgrestedDevelopment: i could tell you about yours
[there's a pause]
AgrestedDevelopment: nvm it's probably weird
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RHY5-W1NZ: i mean jason was kind of a dick but that's sort of his default state
RHY5-W1NZ: like... other people on this ship
[ MARINETTE but he's not gonna go there in this conversation ]
RHY5-W1NZ: look there are a lot of people here who don't know how to be nice to anyone
RHY5-W1NZ: especially us who people should've been the most nice to
RHY5-W1NZ: did any of us pick this?? no
RHY5-W1NZ: anyway who's rose?
RHY5-W1NZ: don't die, dave
RHY5-W1NZ: i've liked you since we got here and i don't like anyone
[ damnit, he's rambling. irl, rhys pinches the bridge of his nose and tries to just. directly address adrien who is obviously pretty torn up about everything. his anger isn't helping here, is it? ]
RHY5-W1NZ: it's not weird
RHY5-W1NZ: tell us what you remember
RHY5-W1NZ: idk if anyone else here will actually care as much as we would
RHY5-W1NZ: since like
RHY5-W1NZ: 1) they suck and 2) it matters to us
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ChoseTheBird: Wait... what do you mean, Adrien? ...Please only clarify if you can. Don't put strain on yourself for our sakes.
ChoseTheBird: You've been through enough...
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turntechGodhead: roxy's daughter
[ so like if she wants to kill him for murdering roxy that's cool he gets it ]
turntechGodhead: i think talking about it might help adrien so
turntechGodhead: im in
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AgrestedDevelopment: ... you're right, this is kinda weird to say not irl
[there's a long pause where you can assume adrien has decided to be a shitty cat and lie down on top of dave]
AgrestedDevelopment: i don't think anyone else needs to know this
AgrestedDevelopment: it feels. personal?
AgrestedDevelopment: to us four
AgrestedDevelopment: everyone else said they were just kind of
AgrestedDevelopment: dealing with me out of pity anyway
[if adrien could remove his own comments he would]
AgrestedDevelopment: nvm that
AgrestedDevelopment: but if you don't want to know it's fine
AgrestedDevelopment: It's just.
AgrestedDevelopment: they weren't people in that sense, but they had feelings and personalities
AgrestedDevelopment: and they weren't us at all
AgrestedDevelopment: knowing how different they were and how they thought is
AgrestedDevelopment: it's easier to separate?
AgrestedDevelopment: on top of knowing everything they did and why
AgrestedDevelopment: so it's not a mystery. it's not just some thing that took over us to fuck us over.
AgrestedDevelopment: sorry
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RHY5-W1NZ: dave that's so awkward, bro
RHY5-W1NZ: i hope she doesn't kill you :(
RHY5-W1NZ: it was a mistake and look it wasn't your fault and we're all just
RHY5-W1NZ: fucking
RHY5-W1NZ: data anyway
RHY5-W1NZ: data can be saved? simple stuff
RHY5-W1NZ: give me a fully stocked robotics lab and i'll upload your mom into it np
[ this is how rhys tries to solve problems, apparently. robot mom? robot mom.]
RHY5-W1NZ: adrien, you aren't someone i'd usually hang out with if i had to choose
RHY5-W1NZ: but that doesn't make you a bad person
RHY5-W1NZ: and i've been pretty frustrated with you here
RHY5-W1NZ: WELL no, frustrated with marinette, you're fine
RHY5-W1NZ: but you're also just kids and i never mean what i say anyway
RHY5-W1NZ: god, i'm fucking this up i'm sorry
RHY5-W1NZ: i'm just trying to say that i think you're okay and deserve interaction that isn't out of pity
RHY5-W1NZ: you deserve to like... deal with being fucking possessed by an alien and deal with your feelings after that and not have people approach you out of pity
RHY5-W1NZ: that's basically it, kiddo
[ uh, anyway. god, rhys is so bad at this -- he just!! wants to go back to yelling!! and not feeling like what he says has any impact on people at all. ]
RHY5-W1NZ: anyway, fml. what was i saying?
RHY5-W1NZ: this means they're like...
RHY5-W1NZ: holy shit if we're all data, then it's like we just got reprogrammed or something
RHY5-W1NZ: a virus
RHY5-W1NZ: happens with the AIs back home all the time
RHY5-W1NZ: something sneaks into their system and ofc they act like fucking idiots
RHY5-W1NZ: usually you have to just wipe the data
RHY5-W1NZ: uh
RHY5-W1NZ: that's not helpful wait nvm
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ChoseTheBird: But we can't let it define us. Don't let your victimhood define you.
ChoseTheBird: No one knows what it was like, but Adrien, please don't misunderstand my sympathies as pity. That's not my intention.
ChoseTheBird: But.. they had... they were working together like teammates?
ChoseTheBird: ...It doesn't matter. Their personalities and feelings don't matter.
ChoseTheBird: They don't get to have any consideration when they're vile. Disgusting. Dead. They're dead, like they deserve. You can't do something like that without repercussions...
[ She's still really disgusted by her own violation, sorry guys. ]
ChoseTheBird: Dave, if you need to talk about anything... you can too...
no subject
turntechGodhead: i mean
turntechGodhead: ive said a lot of my shit but like
turntechGodhead: i think we should hear more about the aliens
turntechGodhead: that would help its a good idea adrien
[ read he thinks it would help adrien ]
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AgrestedDevelopment: i'm not saying any of this right
AgrestedDevelopment: the pity thing was in the trial, now they're
AgrestedDevelopment: idk i think they're mad?
AgrestedDevelopment: they aren't talking to me
AgrestedDevelopment: but that's not important
[i mean, it obviously is to him, but]
AgrestedDevelopment: but, rhys
AgrestedDevelopment: she felt guilty
AgrestedDevelopment: idk if she'd tell you this. she's kind of stubborn and proud at the weirdest times
AgrestedDevelopment: and i don't get the data thing?
[there's a bit of a pause and hesitation]
AgrestedDevelopment: but anyway i didn't mean
AgrestedDevelopment: their thoughts mattered.
AgrestedDevelopment: i'm sorry
AgrestedDevelopment: but the only way i've been able to think about what happened without blaming myself is
AgrestedDevelopment: knowing how he was and telling myself i'd never be like that.
AgrestedDevelopment: that i'd never think or act like that?
AgrestedDevelopment: i'd never
AgrestedDevelopment: i couldn't tell myself i would never have tried to kill her or anyone because i have
AgrestedDevelopment: i wasn't myself or in control 100% back then but that was still me
AgrestedDevelopment: but he wasn't me
AgrestedDevelopment: he just happened to ... hitch a ride
AgrestedDevelopment: because of how he thought people would react to me
AgrestedDevelopment: i guess i just want him out of my head
AgrestedDevelopment: but you guys don't need to know any of that
AgrestedDevelopment: i'm sorry
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RHY5-W1NZ: it's like, we're not really real? or something
RHY5-W1NZ: more akin to a computer program
RHY5-W1NZ: but fake because computers don't work that way
RHY5-W1NZ: not the topic though, ignore me
RHY5-W1NZ: adrien, bro
RHY5-W1NZ: that's really good to know?
RHY5-W1NZ: keep telling yourself that. it's not you, it was never you, because the last thing you want to do is blame yourself
RHY5-W1NZ: aliens are just douchebags
RHY5-W1NZ: and you shouldn't really take their opinion under advisement
RHY5-W1NZ: because they suck
RHY5-W1NZ: so does everyone else
RHY5-W1NZ: idk i'm just repeating myself at this point
RHY5-W1NZ: we're here to listen though, kid
RHY5-W1NZ: because holy shit, if anyone gets it
RHY5-W1NZ: it's us