Entry tags:
week 10 | friday morning
[ elizabeth is dead.
finally.
rhys sits in the computer room and wonders if he should be relieved. a strange sort of jealousy built in him over the weeks as he watched elizabeth and jack and everything else play out in the game. she grew both closer and distant from him at the same time and he could see it hurting jack, see how he wanted to reach out for her but -- but not rhys. rhys died, rhys had an alien crawling through hims just like elizabeth, and no one mourned him. not fiona. not jack. but they went and saw elizabeth, didn't they? went and gave her their attention, their care, their love. it was sickening to watch and after a while, he barely paid attention to the participants after at all, feeling bile in his throat and a slow systematic shut down of his emotions.
fiona didn't care. jack was stripping him for parts. elizabeth got to live and he didn't.
he's not sure how he feels anymore.
he thinks he hates them.
so maybe this is relief he feels when he sees elizabeth's body go down, sees her corpse shoot out into space and finally end her participation in the game. he thinks to himself, cruel and cold, that at least elizabeth won't be able to go back home either -- just like him. she played jack, made him feel like they still had such a relationship while going to people like jason and luke -- telling them how evil jack was, how he deserves to die. she didn't know anything of jack, not really, the sanctimonious little bitch.
doesn't she realize jack saved them? doesn't she realize jack saved her?
rhys didn't deserve to be saved, he realizes. it doesn't stop him from being bitter.
he misses jack. he misses fiona. he misses being alive and now the woman -- no, the girl who took his place is here with him in death.
he wonders if he should kill her again. it would certainly make him feel better. ]
finally.
rhys sits in the computer room and wonders if he should be relieved. a strange sort of jealousy built in him over the weeks as he watched elizabeth and jack and everything else play out in the game. she grew both closer and distant from him at the same time and he could see it hurting jack, see how he wanted to reach out for her but -- but not rhys. rhys died, rhys had an alien crawling through hims just like elizabeth, and no one mourned him. not fiona. not jack. but they went and saw elizabeth, didn't they? went and gave her their attention, their care, their love. it was sickening to watch and after a while, he barely paid attention to the participants after at all, feeling bile in his throat and a slow systematic shut down of his emotions.
fiona didn't care. jack was stripping him for parts. elizabeth got to live and he didn't.
he's not sure how he feels anymore.
he thinks he hates them.
so maybe this is relief he feels when he sees elizabeth's body go down, sees her corpse shoot out into space and finally end her participation in the game. he thinks to himself, cruel and cold, that at least elizabeth won't be able to go back home either -- just like him. she played jack, made him feel like they still had such a relationship while going to people like jason and luke -- telling them how evil jack was, how he deserves to die. she didn't know anything of jack, not really, the sanctimonious little bitch.
doesn't she realize jack saved them? doesn't she realize jack saved her?
rhys didn't deserve to be saved, he realizes. it doesn't stop him from being bitter.
he misses jack. he misses fiona. he misses being alive and now the woman -- no, the girl who took his place is here with him in death.
he wonders if he should kill her again. it would certainly make him feel better. ]

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It wasn't. She was stupid for her to think she mattered. To think being free would make a difference. She's here - dead and all she can think about is reaching out to her friends. Ashamed she was slayed so easily. But, then again, did it matter? Was she even real?
She'll speak to the others, but the thing is - she can actually follow up with some unfinished business. The thought of Rhys as one of her - she expects him to sympathize. Even if she was now a woman, there was a child-like optimism. He knew what it was like, right? To be violated and used? He had to know that she felt nothing but guilt - as she pleaded with Luke and Jason to take Rhys's death seriously and make a move on Jack if the time came.
God.. there was no salvation here, was there?
For once, Rhys isn't alone in his thoughts anymore and she has no clue she is unwelcomed. A voice cracks through his thoughts, separating him and his brooding. ]
Rhys?
[ This place was... definitely not Heaven or Hell. ]
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he told jack that he could trust him, told jack that he wanted to get to know him -- the real him. then this is what he does in return?
oh, he's such an idiot.
it takes him a while to drag his eyes away from the computer screen, the one focused on jack's room right now where he's sleeping -- it's not a peaceful sleep, not as peaceful since the ones where he slept with rhys, but at least he's asleep. he meets liz' eyes blankly before reaching over without breaking contact, turning off the screen. she doesn't deserve to watch with him.
rhys looks... ill. he doesn't need anything to sustain himself here, not really, but it's obvious he hasn't moved for... days, maybe even weeks. there's no light to his eyes, not even mechanical, and there's a tiredness hanging off of him infecting the room and space around him. he's not the same man he was back on the ship, because even when he was at his most spiteful -- he was never this... broken. ]
What.
[ it comes out softer than it should have, a clear showing of the fact he hasn't used it for nearly a month now. he frowns for just a moment before his expression falls back into the flat one from earlier and he turns to sink back into his seat.
he's so angry but he's also so... so tired. he doesn't want to fight right now. ]
Leave me alone.
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She's tense, feeling a creeping sensation overwhelm her as she sees the man for the first time in a month. The screens shut down and Elizabeth flinches at his words. ]
If that's what you truly want... I won't force your hand for conversation. [ What happened to him...? Elizabeth isn't savvy in tech nor his relationship with Jack. Not at at all. ] I just - I wanted to come see you first. That's all.
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You --
[ he stops, letting out a frustrated noise that's still quieter and more defeated than anything else. ]
You don't get it.
[ he feels his eyes prickle again, a sensation he hasn't felt since his first week here before everything in him just sort of shut down. he doesn't... he doesn't want to do this but here he is, feelings clawing up and out of his throat without his consent. he gives a shake of his head and pulls his legs up to his chair, curling into a ball as he drops his forehead to his knees and shifts his arms to hug his middle instead.
when he speaks, it's muffled and holding back emotion rhys thought was dead, it's audible in his tone even if his words are just -- ]
None of you get it.
[ a repetition of rhys' mantra during the trial. no one gets it. no one understands. you can't control jack, you can't make him do what you want, you can't manipulate jack because he's already five steps ahead of you and convincing you of something else. you give jack an inch a power, just a tiny little smidgen of it, and you've already lost. it's like no one here seems to get that -- they don't understand how handsome jack works.
... but then really, what gives rhys the right to think this? to argue this? to turn people against jack when jack's done so much for him? he saved him, didn't he? he saved the ship too, showed everyone what rhys really was deep down and rhys finally understood. he was a monster. he was the bad guy. jack was just being the hero again. no one mourns the villain, so that's what rhys had to be. that's the only thing that makes sense here for him. ]
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...But does it matter?
Elizabeth's defensive - her arms crossed so tightly onto her chest that it was hard to breath. If she even breathed anymore, that is. ]
What?
[ She's a little unsure, especially with his reactions. Gauging his reactions, watching as he shuts down she wants to comfort him - to show a basic human respect she feels everyone deserves. Was Rhys truly alone here? She hadn't seen anyone since arriving but she feels that she deserves that - not until she sets something right. Optimistic is a real killer, isn't it? ]
I don't understand. What don't I get? This game - the trial..?
[ Carefully, two steps were taken towards him - the ends of her skirts tattered and torn since her body was forced out of the airlock. ]
I'm sorry - [ She doesn't understand but that word completely hangs in the worst way possible. ]
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Jack. [ it comes out, a flash of annoyance like oil in a pan and it seems to snowball from there to rhys actually feeling anger again -- even if misdirected. ] You stupid, sanctimonious cow. I'm talking about Jack.
[ another frustrated noise as he pulls his hands from his chest to press his face into them, head still braced against his knees. his thoughts are a confused mess of hurt, betrayal, and longing. he feels so stupid but he knows this is deserved. he knows he couldn't have stopped this. ]
You can't -- you can't just say one thing to Jack and do another because he can always tell. [ he shakes his head, dragging his hands down his face before dropping them into his lap. he doesn't pull his head up but at least his voice isn't muffled anymore. ] He just wants to help and -- and rejecting Jack's help, that's the worst thing you could do. Why would you do that? He just wanted to help you so badly, Elizabeth, and you... you couldn't see that, could you? Stupid, stupid bitch.
[ the hands once again return to his middle, curling over his stomach and gripping his sides as he rocks slowly in his seat. his head is a mess of thoughts, contradicting each other at every beat and he doesn't really even know what he's saying -- it's just... coming out, really. ]
He wanted to help you like he helped me. He saved my life, you know? Saved the ship and showed everyone who I really was deep down. A monster. I'm the bad guy of this story, I don't deserve redemption. He knew that the whole time and I -- I have to... thank him, somehow.
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What the hell are you talking about? He killed you in cold blood. He didn't know you were infected!
[ Elizabeth snaps back, feeling her own anger and bitterness. Not only was it a lot to deal with, but this sudden shift - seeing how Rhys crawled at Jack's graces? Something wasn't right. She takes two more steps forward, her feet shifting in a low drag. When Rhys begins rocking in her seat, she wants to calm him down - to do what's right but he's lashing out in a way that brings the tears to her eyes and makes her teeth clench in anger. ]
I don't know what he wanted to do with me! He could have wanted to siphon me like his daughter! What did you expect me to do?! To let everyone ignore killing you? To wash away his sins?!
[ The tension is there and she feels her hand raise as if she wanted to strike him but instead she balls her fist and lowers it. Absolutely, defeated, her voice croaks: ]
You're not a monster. You're not.
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I was a monster before this. The stuff I've done... and it was just to stop Jack? I get it now. I shouldn't have bothered. Jack's right in the end, he's always right. I was selfish -- should've just... given it to him. So, so stupid.
[ he thumps his head a few times against his knees, slosh of thoughts in his head just getting the better of him. elizabeth doesn't even know the whole story, once again. she knows bits and pieces from biased points of views and rhys knows that, on some level, but he's in no place to explain it, no place to think clear enough to let her in.
this time when he talks, it's more of a mumble and it's more to himself. elizabeth's presence has him thinking again and it's... not actually anything good. ]
Why do I keep doing that? Something -- something's gotta be wrong with me. I don't want to betray Jack. I just gotta try again, one more time. I can get it right this time. Please, Jack. Please, please, please.
[ he's started rocking again, eyes squeezing shut and voice so clearly choked up. he's falling apart, only able to keep on by a thread and elizabeth being there is just unraveling him a bit more by the second. ]
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Stop it! I don't care what you feel about this! You died trying to stop Jack - to protect me. I can't let this go ignored. I can't ignore that Jack is a snake, waiting to strike. You.. Rhys... Please listen to me.
[ She knows he won't. He's hurting himself and Elizabeth can't stop. She kneels down in front of him, looking up with tears beginning to stream down her face. The emotion too much for her to handle. Too much to feel without a release. A choked sob. The fact she died on GOOD terms with Jack terrifies her. It makes her entirely too afraid to think of the others - his mental instability too much of an issue, she thinks.
Her hands hover over his knees, scared to touch him. ]
I can't undo what's been done. I'm sorry - I'm so sorry that you ended up like this. I don't know what you did back in your world - but what Jack did to Angel - I can't ignore that: I can't excuse it. You need to listen to me - please! You did nothing wrong - you didn't deserve to die!
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when he speaks again, it's tired. resigned. ]
Yeah, I did. That's one thing I'm sure about, Elizabeth. I lied to Jack since the moment we got here, told him what I thought he wanted to hear because -- because I'm not a good guy. He would've killed me if I told him the truth but that's because I deserved it. It was going to happen eventually, it just took some time.
[ he finally pulls back then because the more he hears her own sobs, the more he realizes how out of hand he got. no, she doesn't get it, there's no reason to cry -- not for him. he leans back in his chair, hands falling into his lap and looks at her -- finally meets her eyes again but there's still no real light in his, just a dullness. rhys has accepted his fate. ]
I mean, you were honest with him from day one and he loved you regardless, he protected you the whole time. Maybe if I was honest with him... I don't know. [ a sigh and he slumps a little, looking down to the ground. ] Fiona must've known though. Everyone must've known -- I wasn't a good guy. That's why no one did anything, right? I killed so many people so... I'm the bad guy. Jack was just being a real hero. It's -- it's okay, Elizabeth. That's what Jack's supposed to be. Killing me was the right thing to do. Sorry you had to witness it.
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sunday ( before end of trial )
Yet. There's something else that eats at her.
She meets with Rhys briefly, offering the chance to truly talk - no, not about their common interest. About each other. Elizabeth gave the condition Saturday night that she does not want to talk about Jack and if the name so utters from his lips, she will leave. But. The offers is extended.
Now, it was Sunday evening at the small little beach area. Elizabeth was seen with her hands knitting at her skirt, tugging it up so her bare feet could feel the cold, rushing water. She's serene, flashing her memories back towards Battleship Bay.
If Rhys comes close, he can hear her humming to herself and swaying slightly. Even as a woman, the girl was hard to ignore. ]
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it takes a while for him to figure out where to go but finally, he ends up on the beach. passing through the forest is a pain in the ass but when he hears the splashing waves and the smell of salt, he knows he's close enough. he picks up the humming soon after, eyes darting around until he sees -- ]
Elizabeth.
[ it's mumbled quietly and he's still not sure how she's going to react to him but he takes a moment to sigh and move closer. he's looking... not better but not as rigid as he did friday, hair combed back a bit better and stripped down to just his vest, his shirt, his slacks. his sleeves are rolled up and he tucks his hands into his pockets as he walks across the sand to her, pausing when he's close enough to talk but not to get wet himself. ]
You said you wanted to talk? About... well, anything that isn't Jack. So. Here I am.
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Have you ever been to the beach before? I've only been once. It wasn't very long, actually.
[ She turns, taking a few careful steps to him. ]
There's something about it that's intoxicating. In every outthrust headland, in every curving beach, in every grain of sand there is the story of the earth. It's nice to get back to that.
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he realizes that immediately once she starts to speak, his arms folding over his chest as he hunches just a little, glancing out to the ocean and then back to her. he has a need to make himself smaller suddenly but it's -- it's difficult. he's so tall, so flashy, there isn't really anywhere he can hide here. ]
I... guess? Beaches are always kind of, like, dull. Sand and water and just -- just things in the water. Seems a little dirty.
[ he reaches a hand up to rub his flesh arm as a breeze rolls by, shivering. the discomfort doesn't settle. ]
Looooots of opinion about them for someone who's only been to one once though.
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[ Elizabeth doesn't approach him, in fact, she steps right past him to his side - a good five or so feet to sit down. Her skirt is hiked up over her knees, letting her bare feet press more into a roaming tide (that barely comes) and digging into the sand. ]
Nature is always dirty. Life is always dirty. You can't really avoid it.
[ A shrug as she rests her chin against the tops of her knees. ]
Where was your favorite place to visit back in your world?
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That's, uh, kind of a bad thing, you know? Get all caught up in your head, leads you to chase after things that aren't good for you.
[ he pauses and it's like for a moment, it might have finally clicked for rhys -- what happened to him, how broken he's become -- but... it doesn't. it really doesn't. he moves on. ]
... Aren't you just a kid? You talk like you've got experience coming out of your ass or something.
[ he says that instead of replying to her question because -- well, his favorite place is helios. his favorite place is that space station that he sunk to the ground to take down jack. his favorite place after that? fiona's caravan. he doesn't want to talk about either. ]
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[ Remember how much life was in her voice during their first meeting? It's mostly gone now. Instead she tries to just be neutral - remove all emotion even if she fails. ]
I'm 19! Was 19... I don't have any experience, I know that. I can probably count on my fingers the experiences I've had.
[ Elizabeth doesn't understand how she could be like a child - after everything. She thinks that there's so much in the world left for her to do but she doesn't know how to experience it now. There's no real way to. ]
How old were you?
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[ he's still off but here, he's showing a flash of himself. of rhys. of the guy that isn't broken down by abandonment, the guy that isn't suffering from such crippling despair that he's attached himself back to jack of all people as some sort of beacon of hope. instead, he's talking... normally. somehow.
she said not to talk about jack, so he's trying not to talk about jack. that's the simple explanation here. ]
Are. I still think, I still exist, so I'm still freggin' ageing. I'm twenty-eight. I-- I have nothing left but I'm still twenty-eight.
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[ But, she does have an empty, weak laugh at monster. She's seen them - no monsters reside in waters. Her mind wanders, watching the drift of water. It was strangely calming, she thinks... it's not every day she can enjoy it without feeling rushed. Without knowing her journey needs to continue. ]
Oh, so you're old... huh. Looked younger to me.
[ That was a joke. ]
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( tuesday morning )
[ Was the first thing Elizabeth said to Rhys. It was a bit selfish, but Elizabeth was going to experience this. She refuses death to keep her from viewing her personal paradise. Going alone...? She's a little scared.
She's terrified, honestly.
What if it wasn't what she thought? What if it was just as lonely as her tower? Elizabeth has doubts, but there's an excitement in her voice. She convinces him after asking - after pleading with him.
Upon finally activating her special place, the view changes into one more warm. Paris unfolds in front of them. The smell of fresh bread, sound of children playing on the cobblestone roads - the idealistic music wafting through the air.
It was paradise to her and Elizabeth looks around - spins around in pure, utter amazement. She can see everything! A baker and his wife, an artist painting the nearby channel, and - the tower she truly envied her whole life. It's metal construction lifted into the gold and magenta clouds. Elizabeth's breath is gone and knees weak. Her hand over her mouth as she feels an intense emotion that makes her feel dizzy. ]
I never - [ Elizabeth says with tears forming in her eyes. ] I never thought I'd see it... Oh my God...
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he hasn't used the machine before because, well, he doesn't really care to. all his happiest memories seem tainted right now and he's not really able to get past it. he thinks of fiona, he thinks of jack's office, he thinks of spending time with vaughn and yvette. he doesn't want to keep thinking about it.
of course, this all sort of goes out the window when the scenery changes around them and rhys jumps, more startled than he should be. he runs a hand through his hair as he looks around at the scene surrounding them, taking an odd step closer to elizabeth because this -- this isn't anything he knows. it's almost unsettling to him, a fakeness weaved in like this was something out of a storybook. where is the... everything, honestly? the stars, the robots, the guns? he doesn't get it.
and when he looks to elizabeth to ask, she looks like she's crying. ]
... Uh, are you okay? Wasn't this supposed to be a good thing for you?
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Is there anything you've ever just - ... you've dreamed of and never thought you'd achieve? This is it. Paris was it. Couldn't have placed money on if I'd ever make it here but...
[ Birds chirp in the distance, the conversations of friendly neighbors and workers make her just shut her eyes to listen. ]
My happiest place is a place I've never been to.. but - God, Rhys, it's beautiful.
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Well... there's a few things but, they all seem to go rather poorly for me soon after.
[ he's such a cheerful guy! but he really is going to hug her which means while elizabeth's eyes are closed and she savors, she'll feel two arms -- one warm and one metal -- come around her to hug her to him. ]
I bet it's cooler at night, with all the stars...? [ he's still a space boy through and through. ] But this, this is cool too and you should really stop crying right now because it's kind of freaking me out. I get hug-y when people cry in front of me.
[ this is the guy who so strongly believes he was the bad guy. this guy, holding onto liz so very gently despite his awkward phrasing, really thinks he deserves to be dead. he'll still help elizabeth with her death though, he might as well. ]
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Just as he says that, the skies darken. No clouds in the sky, but the darkness overwhelms and there's nothing but millions of brilliantly dancing stars. Twinkling in an over-exaggerated way - just as it would be for her in her dreams. That's what mattered, right?
Elizabeth's hands were limp against her, but awkwardly, they rise. Clutching onto his side, she doesn't apply pressure she just.. stands there. ]
I'm sorry, I'll stop - it's silly... It's nothing.
[ She sniffles a bit, trying to get ahold of herself as she - oh my god. Her eyes light up as she looks over Rhys's shoulder, seeing how amazing the Eiffel Tower looks at night... the strings of gold against the darkened shape... she feels herself close to crying and instead she lets out a breathy exclamation. ]
I'm fine, thank you - truly.