day 3 | jack

[jackhole]

[ sometime really close to curfew, jack's going to get accosted in the hall by a rhys. a rhys who has already changed into his pajamas for the evening and has his stupid floofy twink hair falling over his eyes from his shower. he's going to pull jack pretty quickly into a small alcove for a brief moment of privacy and find himself way too much in jack's personal space without even thinking about it, his hands even hovering awkwardly over jack's wrists but not yet latching on. he looks a little worried. ]

Hey, uhm. Can we talk for a moment? I'm kind of -- I just really want to talk to you for a moment.

Comments

[heroizes]

[ Jack is probably heading back to his room for the evening, ready to settle down for another night of suspiciously deep sleep. This day has been... Weird, to say the least, so at least this time, he won't complain too much for a deep, dreamless sleep. In fact, it'd be pretty welcome. ]

Woah--

[ He just says that briefly as Rhys pulls him into the alcove, but unlike Rhys, he's much more aware of the breach of personal space here. He looks between them, then up to Rhys's face with a raised eyebrow. ]

Suuure. You're not giving me much choice here, uh, gotta point out, but. Sure. 'Sup?

[ He's looking slightly suspicious at this point, but that's because of Rhys's expression over anything else. You know what expression he doesn't want to see before curfew? Worry. Especially right before someone pulls him into a private alcove. ]

[jackhole]

[ don't be suspicious, rhys.

he pulls his hands back from hovering over jack, arms dropping to rest his hands on his hips and he sighs, dropping his head a little. when he speaks, it's hushed but sort of harried as all the worries that built up throughout the day spill out. one of his hands eventually lift up to push his hair out of his face, hand curling around the back of his neck. ]

I know, I know. But I'm getting kind of, uh, scared, [ that's bit out a little bitterly there. ] especially with how nice today was -- really weird, by the way. I don't get good days. And you're the only one I trust enough to talk about this with. Which, again, I know it's dumb.

[ he glances up to meet jack's eyes and sighs again, kicking the floor a little with a toed sock. ]

It's just, you were right earlier, okay? And I started thinking about it like if -- if this place is going to keep with the murders, right? Then we don't know when someone's gonna die. Could be tonight for all we know. Just, there's gonna be a death and a trial and -- and if it's not one of us that die, then at the trial... you're right, I'm the guy people would be most likely to vote for based on like, character. What if that really happens? I don't want to wake up tomorrow to my own death.

[heroizes]

[ As Rhys explains, the worry quickly makes sense, but it surprises Jack. He'd half figured that Rhys wouldn't take his warning to heart, not because he thought Rhys didn't trust his word, but more that he just struck Jack as the kind of guy that still thinks of himself as invincible, at least in a way. Which is admittedly weird, considering how Rhys had insisted about how Jack would kill him eventually, but that thought immediately pulls at what had gotten Jack to make a promise against that in the first place. ]

Hey-- Look, meant to just point it out, not to, I don't know, scare you.

[ Jack hesitates, since being the one to reach out and touch Rhys was probably toeing over a line he's drawn for himself in the sand, and he knows it. But still, that part of Jack that so genuinely wants to do good and help people makes him decide that it's a line worth stepping over. He reaches out to place a hand on Rhys's shoulder, and it's a weight meant to be reassuring. ]

You're... seriously worried about it, aren't you?

[ It sounds like a rude question, but Jack is genuinely asking. It's not hard to see where this conversation is going, but the prospect of it is something that's a very different expression of trust than a hand on the shoulder. It's not even something that's coming from this weird situation. Trust is still something of a sore issue for Jack after killing the Merriff only a few days ago. ]

[jackhole]

[ this is how rhys gets in trouble really. he's an in the moment type of guy and in the moment, he was feeling good, enjoying getting to know jack, liking the security of being part of the killers instead of trying to figure out who they were. it was a shitty situation but he felt he was coming out on top here.

then jack had to go and burst his bubble.

so while, yes, the rest of his day went pretty well -- in the back of his mind he thought about it. with the looming responsibility over his head of what he had to do this evening. suddenly, it felt like the time he had here was shorter than he was assuming, like all his long term plans would be for nothing if tomorrow they all decided to vote for him just because of what jack pointed out, that he's not that innocent looking a guy.

fuck.

he does settle suddenly when he feels jack's hand on his shoulder, realizing then that that's the first time jack's ever like... willingly touched him. he touched him a lot as an AI but it was... well, an AI. it wasn't actually physical -- not like this. rhys crosses his arms over his chest, hands curling at his sides in an effort to not touch jack back as immediately as he'd like to. ]

Well, yeah? If they kill me, I'm never going to be able to see you again --

[ and his voice sounds so disgustingly earnest, like that really would be a tragic thing for rhys to deal with that he groans with his own exasperation and lifts a hand to cover his face. he tries to think of something else to say but it all comes around to the weird territory of things rhys doesn't want to say to jack because they'd be a lie.

he promised jack earlier, didn't he? he wouldn't lie about this kind of thing to him and for rhys, that meant the... bad stuff. the morally dubious. the murder. he won't lie about it to jack but he has to be careful. he doesn't want to trick the guy either. what if he says the wrong thing and sets off the jack that he knows? not this new, better jack that really seems to... uh, care. instead, he says the wrong thing and jack has his hands around his throat.

rhys really doesn't want that. ]

Look, I'm not a good guy -- we both come from the same place, we know what that means but. Shit. I have things that are important to me too? You are important to me, even though I don't mean anything to you right now. I know it sounds weird and I'm trying to make it less weird but fuck.

[ he lets out a frustrated noise then and his hands drops to his sides as he leans slightly into jack's touch, looking off out of the alcove and the empty patch of complex beyond them. it really is getting late, he can't linger too long. ]

It's so stupid, isn't it? That the thing I'm worried the most about isn't even dying, it's just -- just losing you again. You don't even care, you look at me like I'm some crazy unhinged stalker. But I've been thinking about it ever since you said that stuff and now, it's almost time for curfew and I don't want to risk going to bed, getting fucked over tomorrow, and not telling you one last time just how important you are to me.

[heroizes]

[ He doesn't think it'll ever be any less strange to hear how Rhys talks about him. It certainly doesn't help at all with Jack's perception that they dated. Date. Whatever. It's too easy for him to confuse Rhys's hero worship with something like love. He only has the beginnings of an understanding of just how much he'll be admired one day with someone like Nakayama vying for his attention. So it's strange and uncomfortable to hear someone he's only met a few days ago saying that the worst thing about dying would be losing him.

He has to look away from Rhys at that point, but it's not quite because of the words themselves so much as the loaded emotions that come with them for Jack. It's a sentiment that he truly craves, since he's a lonely, but narcisstic person. Being the center of someone's universe in this way, even a stranger's? It's not something he hates. In fact, it's the opposite, because even just hearing something like that is almost thrilling. It's something he'd known about himself, because it's why he always preferred being in relationships, but having that same kind of thrill coming from a guy he doesn't really know?

It's dangerous.

It's dangerous for many reasons, but most of all, the way this appeals to Jack's narcissim and his hero complex is what gets him to push past that doubt. Whatever Jack might have objectively considered for whether Rhys might be one of those staff members or not is lost as he makes an emotional decision instead. After all, this is a Jack who hasn't developed the intense paranoia and distrust of others that would characterize him in a few years. He still trusts easily, and he would say it's because extending that trust is what a hero would do, and that's what he so badly wants to be. But in truth, it's more because extending the trust gives him a feeling of power.

Jack's mismatched eyes come up to meet Rhys's, and his other hand comes to grab Rhys's other shoulder. There's no hesitation this time, almost as if Jack has accepted what that gesture could mean too. ]

Hey. Look at me.

[ Though regardless of whether Rhys actually does or not, Jack continues speaking. There's more resolve in his words here, because at this point? He really does believe he's doing the right thing. Regardless of whatever Rhys's feelings are, in Jack's personal little narrative, this is someone coming to him, a hero, for help. That makes it easier to put whatever he feels aside, and even smile like he's so much more certain of what he's saying here. ]

You're talking like you've already lost! It's-- I, uh, can't promise anything for tonight exactly, what with the crazy deep sleep, but tomorrow? I'll be in your corner. Which, considering I'm kinda the one that has most reason to go after you? I won't let anyone else have a leg to stand on. Because-- I dunno. Even if it's weird and stalker-y, yeah, you've got faith in me. So, I mean, I won't let you down.

[ He releases his grip on Rhys's shoulders to give them a pat instead as he draws back slightly. There's still a smile on his face, and it does seem nothing short of genuine as he cracks an arrogant joke. He's certainly getting better at this. ]

So, yeah, cut it out with the "one last time" crap. You can tell me how awesome I am for-- Okay, putting an actual time on this statement feels like it's gonna jinx it. So. You get the point here.

[jackhole]

[ rhys is aware on some level that he's making a mistake here. warning bells go off in his head constantly, telling him to not do this with jack again, not repeat his mistakes -- but there's this feeling that's been in him since helios went down, a hollow ache in his chest he could never quite fill. he thought it was fiona. then maybe jack. then he realized he wasn't quite sure what it was but no matter what he did with atlas, no matter how hard he worked, nothing changed for him.

here, even if it's all some fantasy and he's truly lost his mind, even if it ends in him needing to put down jack again, he chases after the vague whisper of what could be. if he could just fill that hollowness inside of him again, make himself feel as alive and happy (and blind) as he once was, maybe it'll all be okay again. so, he keeps being impulsive, making quick decisions in the moment that might be bad for him and jack both in the end. there's a reason, he thinks, that it's just him and jack here, right? and it has to be for this.

fiona left him but, he got a second chance with jack. he's not wasting it. even if he goes down burning, he's not wasting this second chance at having jack, real and whole beside him.

so he looks up when jack asks him, leans into his touch and looks so pathetically, woefully enamored with the guy in a way that he doesn't quite realize he's doing. it's that high he's chasing again, that wholeness. that's what he feels when jack commits himself to rhys like this and rhys lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

he should say something, thank him or whatever but he's not quite sure how, still knowing what he has to do tonight. he bites his lip for a moment, still looking a bit rattled but not as much as he did before and without forewarning he's, uh, he's going to hug jack. tight and warm, fingers curling around jack's shoulders as he pulls him in close. he knows jack doesn't want this but -- but he had to, honestly. he couldn't just let this go without his thanks. his physical thanks.

when he speaks, it's muffled against jack's hair as rhys just takes a moment to savor before he's pushed off, which he'll assume jack will do. ]

You're already pretty awesome, Jack.

[heroizes]

[ Rhys isn't the only one chasing a high, unfortunately. The way Rhys looks at him, that pure admiration, Jack can't help himself but to greedily drink that in. It's what he's been chasing after too ever since he had that first inkling that he could scale up the ladder at Hyperion. Every little employee that worked for him, every person that praised him for his genius, he loved it every time. If he were more self-aware, he'd probably realize that was part of the problem that led to the man he's so afraid to become. But he's not. Instead, there's clear delight in how the corners of his eyes turn up with a smile.

Though, of course, that spell is someone broken when Rhys hugs him.

Jack stands there stiffly, since he's a little surprised, though he also quickly wonders to himself why he's surprised. Of course he's a hugger. What else was he expecting? Ugh. He places his hands on Rhys's shoulders again to nudge him away. ]

Aw- Aww, c'mon, really? We're hugging now?

[ Wait, is he smelling his hai--

No. No, it's almost worse than that, because it's another goddamn compliment. Even if Jack loves the compliments and the attention, the way it combines with Rhys's particular devotion was a little more likely to get him to falter, even if slightly. He gives Rhys more of a shove so that he doesn't do something weirder, but there's a cocky grin on his face. ]

Hah- Well, y'know, gotta hand it to you, you've at least got good taste!

[ Though he thinks to himself that he'd rather avoid a second hug, so. He'll just take a step away, holding his hand up as a general, dismissive gesture for a goodbye. ]

You feelin' better now?

[jackhole]

[ he's not smelling his hair!!! but yes, rhys does stumble a little as jack pushes him back and rhys notices it, feeling kind of awkward. he really hoped the hug would be received well but fine, he's getting it. no touching. his hands are pulled into his sleeves then, fingers curling around the long fabric as he looks to the ground. ]

Yeah, I -- Sorry. I get it.

[ he hates!! this!! he hates this and there it comes back, that empty feeling where he tries to justify it as not being jack or not being fiona or. whatever. they were so close again and then he just had to go and fucking overdo it. he nods jerkily as he straightens up and brings his head back up to look jack in the eye again, frown tugging at his face.

at least the concern is nice, he thinks. ]

Jesus Christ, no way. I'm not going to feel better until I'm not dead but -- But. [ a pause and he lifts a hand to rub the back of his neck, shifting from one foot to another. ] It's -- it's nice to know I won't lose you. Today was really good, wasn't it? And I don't want to give that up again.

[ he pulls his hand back to drag it over his face, giving a shake of his head. ]

I'm -- I'm getting sappy again, is what I'm getting. Oh my god. I'm sorry. Again. Thanks for talking to me, Jack. We should stop before it gets too late and curfew like, happens. Or whatever.

[heroizes]

[ To be fair here, it's not super personal, Rhys. Jack is just slightly hesitant about accepting hugs from slightly scary dudes who he only decided were safe enough to pat on the shoulder about five minutes ago. Give him time to work his way up the "acceptable physical contact" ladder.

His expression does falter at the morbid comment, but it at least settles into a more wry expression by the next. ]

Well- You don't have to. We'll make tomorrow good too. And, y'know, plenty more, I'm hoping.

[ This sounds pretty encouraging, though really, Jack really is mostly meaning for himself there far more than Rhys. Regardless, he takes another step away and waves a good bye. ]

Anyways. You're welcome. So, tomorrow.

[ and then rhys murders a child the end ]