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week 13 | monday night
[ so!!! rhys has been in a weird mood all day. after talking to jack's clique (and his subsequent freak out), talking to dave and adrien and then finishing it all with yuno, he's been through the wringer a little and now he's. conflicted.
oh boy is he conflicted.
he's sitting on their bed, legs crossed under him and wearing jack's stupid sweater because he still hasn't given it back since the moment he borrowed it. it's his now, jack. it's his. the thing is it gives him an odd sort of comfort when he's still so... fragile, to put it simply, because jack is here and jack's not leaving and if rhys keeps the sweater jack definitely won't leave -- that's how he's parsing it through in his brain. his fingers thumb at the edges of his sleeves as he curls and uncurls his hands over the surprisingly soft fabric and after a moment, he slowly slides to lay on his side, hugging himself from his curled up position on the bed.
after a bit of silence, rhys will finally call out to jack the question that's on his mind. ]
Jack... what do you know about the aliens?
oh boy is he conflicted.
he's sitting on their bed, legs crossed under him and wearing jack's stupid sweater because he still hasn't given it back since the moment he borrowed it. it's his now, jack. it's his. the thing is it gives him an odd sort of comfort when he's still so... fragile, to put it simply, because jack is here and jack's not leaving and if rhys keeps the sweater jack definitely won't leave -- that's how he's parsing it through in his brain. his fingers thumb at the edges of his sleeves as he curls and uncurls his hands over the surprisingly soft fabric and after a moment, he slowly slides to lay on his side, hugging himself from his curled up position on the bed.
after a bit of silence, rhys will finally call out to jack the question that's on his mind. ]
Jack... what do you know about the aliens?
no subject
In a way, that's a small sign of the difference between them. Rhys reflects and feels conflict, but Jack feels none. He hadn't wanted to die, true, but even in the death itself, it had played out the way he wanted. There was no guilt, no conflict, nothing but simply waiting, and that was the only part that bothered him here.
He's found paper and pencil, which is all Jack apparently needs to at least give himself something to do in between the times where he's occupied with something else. It's not quite anything having to do with their current situation but he's been dutifully and much more rarely for Jack, quietly working on an engineering drawing. It's of course of a part of a gun, since it's what Jack knows best, but his concentration at least gives Rhys time for his own thoughts. That, and the probably slightly surprising knowledge that Jack is actually fairly skilled with drawing, even if this is all sharp, measured lines. Go figure.
As Rhys speaks up, Jack at first only glances up at his name, but the question that follows naturally gets him to pause. He sits back slowly, but it comes easily and predictably enough with a sigh. He doesn't seem surprised at all, because he had been expecting this kind of question eventually. He hadn't pushed Rhys to ask it, though admittedly that wasn't quite out of concern for Rhys so much as simply being rather tired of the answer he always have to give: ]
More than most people, not as much as I'd like.
[ Which he had hated, especially as people started turning to him for answers. He had truly tried hard to get those answers, but... It was a brick wall, ultimately. He could be grateful that those risks didn't turn out more poorly, but of course Jack doesn't quite think of it that way. ]
Why? Something you wanna know?
no subject
he curls more into the sweater, eyes flicking upwards to watch jack as he tries to put his feelings about this situation into words. it's always the feelings with rhys, be it towards people or situations or himself -- he's an emotional guy, always. ]
Talked to Adrien and Dave today. Liz was there too and just... people here were such dicks about the whole alien thing. I don't get it. You said -- you said you don't blame me for it but I understand why I got infected. I mean, I'm not a good guy or anything. That makes sense.
[ a pause here and he curls and uncurls his hand a few times, letting out a sigh. ]
But Elizabeth? She's a good person. Dave and Adrien? They're -- they're good kids, man. Why do that to kids? I wish I could like, hug 'em or something, I guess. No one else seems to be.
[ his one rare paternal instinct is coming out, it's crazy. ]
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Has nothing to do with the kind of person you are, kiddo. I mean... Always figured it was just strategic for those assholes. They were hiding where they thought people wouldn't look. Just-- Well, it was just shit luck.
[ ...But Jack never had any hesitation in killing them either. He'd thought that was the only thing he could do until Elizabeth's trial had proven otherwise. It's why he'd tried to goad her into drinking that poison. If she was infected, she needed to die. It was that simple for Jack, and the only person that had even slightly shifted for was Rhys himself. Yet even so, that was only because of how their own feelings had tangled into things far more than what Rhys had been hiding inside of him.
Jack pauses and looks to the drawing on the table that he's been working so dutifully on, and he spins the pencil around his thumb idly. He seems to think something over for a few moments, but then nods, though he doesn't look to Rhys. ]
Look, you didn't deserve it, and they didn't either. I'm the one that was supposed to be friggin' hunting 'em down, so... Not their fault. I mean, if it was, you think I would be-- [ He waves a hand vaguely here ] --with Liz?
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No, I don't think you would. Though that's what's bothering me, actually. Not -- not Liz, she's... whatever. It's fine. [ it's definitely not fine and it's apparent as he keeps talking. ] But the more I think about it...
[ he lets out a frustrated noise, immediately ditching the pillow to roll on his back and press the heels of his hands into his eyes. ]
Why isn't that happening with the rest of them? I died, no one cared, I get it. Fiona... well, I have to live with that. Adrien and Dave... no one came to them after? I don't get that. They didn't do anything wrong. People only talked to Elizabeth about how much she hurt and I--
[ a pause, his hands drop to fold over his chest and he frowns up at the ceiling. ]
I don't get it. What are the rest of us supposed to do? We didn't choose this.
no subject
I mean, just being blunt here, pumpkin. You actually wanting my opinions, or are you wanting to just, I dunno, talk?
[ It sounds like Jack is being self-aware enough to know that he's going to give asshole answers to those questions, but it's not quite that. His opinions are definitely steeped in a bitter, paranoid view, so it might not be what Rhys wants to hear. Though really, Jack asks because he doesn't really have any answers for them. He can make his pessimistic guesses, apply the morality and the behavior that he's seen in his life to this, but ultimately, they'll still be that. Guesses. He's aware enough to know that guesses won't do very well to address questions like that. ]