jackhole | week 4 | monday evening

[ Break is doing the same thing he does every night, which... Isn't actually that exciting. He's plopped down on the bed casually, but when he hears the knock he sits up in surprise. He already knows who it is before Rhys speaks, since he hadn't been kidding last week about being able to identify people by their gaits, but he is a little surprised all the same. ]

It's unlocked~.

[ Even with everything that's happened, he still uses that playful, sing-song sort of tone. If not for evidence to the contrary when Gilbert was a suspect, it would seem like he can't take anything seriously. ]

[ rhys' gait is probably a little odd, with what the off balanced weight but he's never paid much attention to it! it would be a little weird to think that someone could recognize him so easily because of it.

when he hears break's voice, he slips inside the room and closes it behind him, looking around for gilbert and letting out a soft "huh" when he doesn't see him. probably... getting coffee or something, right? probably. ]

I wanted to talk to you about the trial. Well, kind of about the trial -- more about everything! I think, uh, with Morrigan gone, I don't think there's a lot of people left here who see things like we do.

[ there he goes, right for the shady mcshade talk. it's like he has no idea how to be subtle. ]

[ This isn't the conversation that Break had been expecting, but it's one that he's definitely interested in. There's a moment where he just stares at Rhys with mild surprise, but then laughs as he sits up further. The usual airy tone of his voice drops. ]

See things like we do...?

[ But he won't admit to things easily, because Break is cautious at best and incredibly paranoid at worst. So instead, he poses a question to judge this conversation's context better. ]

Well, well, when you put it that way, I'm curious. What did you really think about this last trial? Were you holding your tongue at the very end?

[ there's a moment of hesitation where rhys wonders if he just... assumed too much but no. no, he's not off the mark here with break, is he? he knows he's not and he's going to take that chance. so, he glances back to the door to make sure it's locked before he strides over, moving to take a seat on gilbert's bed so he can talk to break. ]

I think... that being right was more important than letting the wrong person die.

[ then another hesitation because this one -- he couldn't say this out there, not really. they wouldn't understand. ]

... I also think Morrigan would have been more useful down the line. Not Buddy. Buddy's a liability.

[ He certainly hasn't read Break incorrectly at all, because Rhys's statement gets Break's smile to quirk slightly. He pauses, but it's not quite hesitation as he bows his head lightly to agree. ]

I agree, naturally. Morrigan i— [ Ah, not "is" anymore. He corrects himself quickly. ] —was direct and clever, both of which are assets. Though I'm surprised that she decided to die for that girl, actually. They would have both neatly retired if she hadn't spoken up.

[ Break shrugs, since he's dancing around his point here a bit. It's intentional, since he's half-measuring Rhys's reaction to his words as he continues. ]

...But she very nearly confessed Buddy's role, and yet only three cast a vote for her. Now it's one less spot there is to claim, which I find troubling.

[ when rhys hears i agree, he lets out a sigh of relief because damn, it's nice not to be the only asshole in the room. he can speak freely now, can't he? and that's good to know. so he listens to break, lifts a hand to chew on the thumb of his flesh hand and ignore the churning in his gut. he's not being a bad guy, thinking of people this way. it's just -- it's just necessity. ]

It's because the rest of them didn't care, I think. No one was sure but because of how Morrigan presented herself, they were quick to write off her words. Quick to judge. Yes, it pointed towards Buddy but no one had said anything as concrete about the whole thing until Morrigan. No one knew and why wouldn't Morrigan throw Ranulf under the bus if that was her goal? No, it made everything point to Buddy immediately and Morrigan liked Buddy. Morrigan had a son. She didn't seem like the type to kill a child, she just seemed pragmatic. If anything, that was the most honest Morrigan had been the entire time.

[ rhys' words all come out in a rush and they are bitter. rhys understands betrayal, understands what it means to save your own skin and what it takes to get there. morrigan wasn't saving her own skin because if she were, she would have given her half-truth way before the deadline. no, she was just trying to clear the air even when she knew it was her neck on the line.

rhys... well, he wouldn't have done that. ]

Morrigan made a mistake. [ . . . ] Anyway, what's troubling about it?

[ Break listens silently as Rhys spills all of this out, but his expression turns sympathetic. It's something he seems to agree with, but unsurprisingly, Break isn't exactly the most emotional person, nor is he the best at expressing it. Even saying goodbye to Morrigan was something he'd approached with awkwardness rather than remorse, and this doesn't feel that different.

After all, Break wouldn't have done it either, were he in Morrigan's position. ]

It's troubling because there are only seven spots for survivors. It's probably callous of me to think in such a way, but... That number is always in my mind. I want to be one of those seven, since I have no intentions of dying here, but the odds don't seem very good to be one of them.

[ It might be an implication that Break has thought about killing himself, but he's also purposefully being vague. He just wants to appeal to that sense of wanting to survive rather than implying that he wants to kill. ]

I wish that more people had taken Morrigan's word, in any case. I'm sure there are those that feel it was just all the same, but it still doesn't sit right with me. I just hope that it's the same for others.

-- Oh.

[ rhys hadn't connected that for some reason and he sits back heavily, taking a moment to stare up at the ceiling. they just confirmed buddy for one of the slots willingly despite her murdering someone just because she was a child. this... this makes rhys angry. he wants to live. if this all goes to shit, he wants to be one of the few people who get to live.

even if he's pretty sure that there's no guarantee there either. rhys can't help but immediately jump to the more macabre thought. ]

If this means they're only six left, I don't think either of us have very good chances at surviving. Gilbert either, even if he's already survived a trial. They knew it was Buddy, it was obvious it was Buddy, but they voted for Morrigan anyway because of her attitude. Because she was an adult and Buddy isn't.

[ his teeth grit and he has an oddly painful moment where he wishes jack were here, to tell him what to do. he's not -- he's not ruthless enough for this. he can get angry at his upcoming death (because surely, there's no way he's going to survive this with these odds) but he doesn't know how to stop it. yet. jack would know and that kind of sucks. ]

If this is what future trials will bring, we're not going to make it. There's a lot of kids here, innocent looking teenagers. If we're going to let people go because of personal opinion over actual guilt, this entire game is going to go off the rails immediately. What do we do?

[ In a way, this was the answer that Break had been hoping for. He doesn't like the circumstances that have brought it about, certainly, but it's necessary. He knows that's a dangerous sort of thinking to go down, but at this point, he's either desperate or he doesn't care. He knows that he doesn't have much longer to live, and so he's not content to simply sit and wait, hoping that luck might favor him. After all, there was no guarantee that he wouldn't simply give out anyways. He knew it was one more summoning of the Hatter and that would probably be all he could take, but without it, that line wasn't so clear. It's frightening, but it's also a motivation, which is why he bows his head lightly as Rhys pieces through what this means.

It's a gamble, certainly. But now he feels that it's probably one worth taking. ]

We play the game. I would have guessed that it's what Morrigan was trying to do, but... That didn't seem to be the case.

[ As Break continues, there's definitely a sense in his tone that this is already something that he's thought out in detail. It might not be much of a surprise considering Team Shady and how Break had demonstrated that he's a more shrewd and clever that the whimsical, weird personality might imply. ]

I don't know if it could be called a loophole, but there's a rule that's exploited easily. There's a danger in being an accomplice, as Morrigan demonstrates, but she also flipped. They both could have gotten away and taken those spots. I wouldn't hope for quite that good of a result, but... If there are multiple accomplices, then that's mutually beneficial. There's a risk, but for each additional accomplice, you also increase the amount of people that can escape. One killer, and two accomplices, and in the worst case scenario, one of them is executed, but the other two go free. It's far better odds than simply sitting, waiting, and hoping that you're not targeted by someone else or executed as a mistake.

[ Though here's the catch, and why Break is understandably hesitant to bring it up: ]

...But there's also no reason to mince words here. It would require more people to be killed.

[ rhys stays silent and listen because that's what he knows to do in moments like these. break is... crazy but he isn't senseless and he's shrewd. morrigan was like that too until, well. it's a familiar shrewdness to rhys though and he'll latch onto it.

what break is suggesting though, rhys can't help but picture how it would go. break, gilbert, him? there's no way an actual accomplice gilbert could survive if he was a suspect again, could he? people would see him up there and know he did something. between rhys and break though... ugh, he's pretty sure he might be the more likely suspect. break is dangerous but he's also blind. if rhys were his eyes for a murder, it would be very hard to keep the suspicion off of him. he's not sure how much he trusts their ability to pull that off.

still, rhys can't help but wave a hand dismissively at the last part. ]

People die all the time. Most of the people here deserve it. If someone's going to die anyway, it might as well be a death that's as tactically advantageous as possible. A death that can save me, you, and maybe some other people in the process.

[ then he pauses and realizes just how callous that sounded. he's glad no one else is here to hear it, especially when he's said things directly opposing that to other people. god, what is he even doing? ]

I have a question though. [ how to put it ... ] Do you... think this is it? Do you think if we die here, we're dead for real? Or are there other forces at work, maybe? I don't, uhm. I don't really know, personally.

[ It's callous, but that's what Break is hoping for here. Anything less than that and this wouldn't work, and that's why he hadn't approached Rhys (or Morrigan, for that matter) with this idea before. He had to be certain, because obviously revealing such callousness to the wrong person would be a death sentence in a situation like this. He nods in agreement, and he's planning on speaking to that, but Rhys continues with a question. Break thinks it's going to be logistics, something about Break himself, but... The question is one he hadn't expected at all.

He's surprised, but that expression into a smile that's sardonic. Before he even says anything, he does think it's strange. Revealing this much about himself to strangers in such a short time... This was more than he had revealed to people he had known for decades or more. Granted, it was hardly pressing in that case, but it's still strange for him. ]

...Well, personally, I hope not.

[ He pauses, because even he knows he should explain further, that doesn't make it easy to do. He had explained this to Morrigan actually, but it's still odd to admit. ]

But that's the opinion of a dead man. There very well could be other forces at work to make it so there's "more," because that's what happened for me, in a sense. But I'm not sure if I would recommend it.

[ rhys can't explain why he made such a leap but he's there, wondering about the after. none of this feels real in a way and if he's going to do something like, like get blood on his hands, he wants to know if it's real. are these stakes actually here or are they all being played like fools? rhys isn't really one to trust this kind of thing -- or anything!

what break answers with isn't what he expected of course, his eyes widening a little as he processes it. did break just... did he just admit to being dead? there's no way. he can't just leave something as confusing as that alone, so he asks. of course he asks. ]

So, you're dead. But you're... here? [ rhys is getting pretty tired of trusting dead guys. ] How does that work? Have you been in a game like this before, Break?

[ or is break's backstory about to get really, really weird? ]

[ you know it is ]

No, certainly not. It's just why I have three ages, listed, actually~.

[ He laughs, but after that laugh, his expression turns much more serious. He had actually told Morrigan about this, since she had asked about his three ages, so he supposes that it's oddly appropriate that another member of Team Shady get the story too. ]

I haven't always been a valet. When I was a younger man, I was actually the knight and bodyguard of a different household. But I failed. I wasn't able to protect my master, and he died. I regretted it greatly, and so much that I managed to draw the attention of... Well. The Abyss is a bit hard to explain, but you may as well think of it as a demon. I was given a chance to change things. Or, really, I just went mad with my regrets.

[ Though there's definitely a large portion of this story he skips over completely. In part, it's because explaining Chains and Illegal Contracts is probably akin to Rhys trying to explain his arm and eye to Break in terms of how much he'd understand, but. He also just doesn't want to admit that he was a serial killer in a murdergame. ]

I was pulled into a deep abyss from which there's supposed to be no return, and I mean that quite literally. Being pulled into the Abyss is supposed to mean death, but I managed to appeal to its keeper. She gave me a chance to grant my wish to change the past, but time flows differently there, and so many decades passed while I was only in there for a short period of time. So the young man I was died in the Abyss.

[ He motions to his eye ]

My eye is the price I paid for it. That stupid cat is the one that owns it now, since he's a creature from that place. [ He keeps his hate for Cheshire on the downlow, though, since he'd definitely kill the cat again if he could... ] It's been twenty-one years since the Abyss spat me out, but more time passed while I was in there, hence the 139. I don't exactly keep track, but if that's the number my profile lists, it's as good as any.

[ Though he does gloss over another part here: whether his wish was actually granted or not. He pauses, but then decides to explain that too, since it makes his hatred for this week's motive much clearer. ]

...And I succeeded. I changed the past like I wanted so badly. [ His smile grows bitter here, since it's not any easier to swallow even years later. ] As promised, my regret was erased. The event that took my masters' life never occurred. But perhaps it was meant to happen all the same. My master was able to live four years longer, but instead, the entire family was wiped out, and the youngest daughter which I was tasked with protecting... She ended up taking the same path as I did. The Abyss whispered to her, and she also listened. But she dragged the entire family into the Abyss with her. My own pride and foolishness erased the entire family. They no longer exist at all.

[ suddenly, gilbert's disapproval earlier over rhys' remarks about changing things make more sense. he wonders if gilbert's done the same kind of thing as break, been tricked by this demon too but he's not going to ask yet. instead he listens to break and bites his tongue on one or two comments he's pretty sure it would be inappropriate to reply with.

and that leads him to one question. kind of callous but isn't that what this whole conversation is? ]

So, you made a deal with a demon and the demon betrayed you. [ rhys' thoughts flicker to jack for a moment but he ignores it. ] And now you're here, wanting to rig the system to win this horror show and...

[ it kind of sounds like he's implying this might be a mistake. ]

What if you're just supposed to be dead?

[ He shakes his head, since that's more or less the same conclusion that Oz and the others had come to about the Abyss, but Break sees it differently now. ]

No, I wasn't betrayed. I got exactly what I wanted, but what I wanted couldn't be predicted. As I'd hoped, the event that led to my master's death never happened. But I was just too foolish and single-minded to think about what it could mean if it didn't.

[ It's a small correction, but an important one. He doesn't begrudge anyone for what happened but himself. As for the actual question itself... Break smiles, but only very lightly. ]

I probably should be, but I'm not. Not yet. Whether I deserve it or not... I was given a second chance at life. So until there's no more strength in my body, I won't die so easily.

[ there's a weird sort of empathy he feels to break's story and it churns his stomach. what break has gone through, his entire story, sort of echoes concerns rhys has buried deep in the back of his mind about jack and he just --

he needs to change the subject. ]

Okay. I get it. Then that's why you want to take advantage of the accomplice rule. What about Gilbert? Does he want think this is a good idea? I, uh, I figure you've talked to him, right?

[ See, now if you brought it up, Break would absolutely say never trust Jacks. But alas. Instead, that question gets Break to laugh with more humor. ]

Oh, absolutely. Gilbert is my protégé, more or less.

[ It's a bit complicated, but getting into the world of Pandora Hearts (implied) politics is a bit outside of the scope of this discussion. ]

It's not ideal, since playing by their rules doesn't sit that well with me, but there's little other choice at the moment. If another way to secure an exit presents itself, we'll take that. But for now, taking advantage of their poorly written rules seems like the most advantageous.

[ a protégé, huh? but what in the world could gilbert be learning from break? that's what rhys wonders but he doesn't bother asking just now. instead rhys nods along and thinks about it, it seems like a solid plan but... hm. ]

Wait. What if that's the point? [ he should probably explain himself a bit more. ] What if... they want us to take advantage of any loopholes in the rules to kill someone? They just want us to kill, it doesn't really matter how we do it, right?

[ is rhys being properly paranoid or onto something? who knows!! it's rhys, one can never tell with him. ]

It's a possibility.

[ Break responds without missing a beat, so it seems like this is something that he may have considered too. And yet, that doesn't exactly make his answer better... ]

But unfortunately, with the way things are now, it's the only path presented to us. If they want us to kill, then the lack of other options is certainly incentive to that.

[ wow it's like break is on team shady for a reason... ]

[ team shady is definitely full of people who assume everything is a backstab. that's definitely something happening here. ]

Ah. Yeah...

[ it's like rhys wants to say more but he doesn't know exactly how or what, so he doesn't say anything. instead he runs his hands over his face and asks his final question, for now. ]

When? You don't want to do this this week, right? I mean, you want to wait a while before doing anything, right? That would... make the most sense.

[ please tell him you're playing it cautious, break. he's with you, tentatively, but he's still not quite sure himself. ]

[ He nods ]

I do. Taking action at all is a large risk, so I'm not planning on taking that step carelessly.

[ Break seems to consider how to continue himself, but considering what he actually says, it might be surprising. ]

I'm personally playing a balancing act here. If it comes to the point where I'm more certain that— [ He pauses, then sighs ] I may not live to the end of this game regardless. If it gets to that point, then I'll be the one to kill, and you two can act as accomplices. That's when, I believe.

week 4 | monday evening

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[explains ph] @god: why

because suffering

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