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day 10 | jack
[ he wakes up in a bed. that's kind of weird to him because well, he still has he vague sensation of nails tearing through the skin of his face and his throat being crushed under metal. it's not a good feeling.
neither is the knot of anxiety in his stomach as the memories flood back to him, both of his death and his real life. the tiny gaps that were missing are all there again. he thinks of vaughn, he thinks of fiona, he thinks of jack. he also thinks of how his warnings fell on deaf ears and how -- how nothing he did will come to fruition.
he sits up, covers his mouth, and lets out a sob. his body shakes with it for a few moments, wet tears sliding down his face as he buries it against his knees and lets every bit of tension he's felt since his death failed come out of him in loud, wracking sobs. nothing he did mattered and -- and ciel is going to die, isn't he? ciel and angel and none of them listened to him. he was right, so painfully right about everything, and yet no one took any of his words to heart.
not even jack.
it's a long time before rhys is able to get himself together and it's with shaky footsteps that he finally pushes himself out of bed and drags himself over to look at the closest reflection he can find. he's in his pajamas -- the ones he preferred before... everything here. jack's old yellow sweater. his worn out blue and white pants. his hair hangs loose in his face as if freshly washed and there are no bruises, no blemishes. the blood is gone, the scars are gone, and he's whole again. he even takes a moment to lift the sleeve of his left arm and there it is, skin covered in blue ink but otherwise whole.
he's not sure if he's relieved, but this is better, maybe. he has a long time to get used to it.
so, with a sigh he leaves the bedroom and heads for the kitchen because -- well, he's due for some ice cream, he thinks. ]
neither is the knot of anxiety in his stomach as the memories flood back to him, both of his death and his real life. the tiny gaps that were missing are all there again. he thinks of vaughn, he thinks of fiona, he thinks of jack. he also thinks of how his warnings fell on deaf ears and how -- how nothing he did will come to fruition.
he sits up, covers his mouth, and lets out a sob. his body shakes with it for a few moments, wet tears sliding down his face as he buries it against his knees and lets every bit of tension he's felt since his death failed come out of him in loud, wracking sobs. nothing he did mattered and -- and ciel is going to die, isn't he? ciel and angel and none of them listened to him. he was right, so painfully right about everything, and yet no one took any of his words to heart.
not even jack.
it's a long time before rhys is able to get himself together and it's with shaky footsteps that he finally pushes himself out of bed and drags himself over to look at the closest reflection he can find. he's in his pajamas -- the ones he preferred before... everything here. jack's old yellow sweater. his worn out blue and white pants. his hair hangs loose in his face as if freshly washed and there are no bruises, no blemishes. the blood is gone, the scars are gone, and he's whole again. he even takes a moment to lift the sleeve of his left arm and there it is, skin covered in blue ink but otherwise whole.
he's not sure if he's relieved, but this is better, maybe. he has a long time to get used to it.
so, with a sigh he leaves the bedroom and heads for the kitchen because -- well, he's due for some ice cream, he thinks. ]
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There's a silence from Jack's side of the door as soon as he says Angel's name, and it lingers even as Rhys whines about his broken nose. Jack looks down at his feet, since the mention of Angel is enough to pretty quickly cool down his temper. But eventually, he groans out a tired sigh and reaches up to massage his brow instead. ]
Everything isn't fine. That's why I want to strangle you?
[ He does sound calmer, though. Jack doesn't mention where that's coming from, because truth be told, he doesn't like how Angel factors into things here. He'd essentially ignored his daughter, and even though he doesn't blame himself for that exactly, it still feels like a sore point. He doesn't want to talk about Angel, but she takes some of that vicious fight out of him. ]
C'mon, open the door. I broke your nose, so we're even on that at least.
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but he also doesn't want to hide in here the rest of the day and while the pettiness in him claws at him to just keep the door locked and crawl back into bed until jack goes away -- he looks down then at the ring, now around his finger, and gives a sigh. he'll take a step back from the door, unlocking it and opening it... cautiously. he's not happy that he's covered in blood already though, feeling ridiculous that this keeps happening to him. ]
There, fine. I -- I opened it, alright?
[ he's actually kind of scared about what jack might do, he realizes. ]
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Good. Now- Now we can finally talk, and you can't ignore me. Because- Because, Rhys, you know what I hate? Being ignored. Just in general here, but I really, really hate being ignored when you owe me a hell of a lot here. Ah, ah, ah, and before you say it, yeah, I know you were busy. Don't really care, because I think I made my opinion on what you should do really clear.
[ Jack's focus is on Rhys with the sort of intensity that's probably more than just intimidating. He keeps eye contact as he reaches into his pocket, and as he had mentioned, he pulls his own ring out. He holds it in front of Rhys's face, and considering his threat, it almost seems like he's about to make good on it. It even seems like Jack is tempted to do it, but his grip relaxes, though the intensity in his expression doesn't falter. ]
You -- Rhys, you killed me. But that- I could get past that, because you know, I get it. I get your reasons. Would've done the same. But you know why I took this off? [ He wags it in front of Rhys's face almost tauntingly, but his anger is starting to give way to more of what he'd felt when he'd shown up in this room a few days ago. ] Being here. Alone. Because y'know? Yeah, I did think you'd killed me for that stupid goddamn spot. Wouldn't have before. But also wouldn't have- I wouldn't have expected you to bring me to some bullshit like this without even talking to me first either.
[ He sighs heavily, then let's go of Rhys's face as he takes a step back. He clenches the ring inside his fist as he looks down at it, then back up to Rhys. ]
You ever make me feel like that again? We're not just done. I'll kill you. And even if we're just data or whatever now-- I don't care. You know me. I'll find a way, even if it takes me out in the process too.
[ There's another sigh, but with this one, Jack's expression finally falters and falls into one that's less anger and more emotional on the opposite side of the spectrum. It's only a fraction of the sort of despair he'd felt over the idea that Rhys had betrayed him a few days ago, but mostly, his expression just shows disappointment. ]
Don't leave me again, Rhys.
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he's not sure if he's seen jack at this level of anger or desperation before -- maybe not even to him. there were a few fleeting instances he knew, things like rhys getting a promotion when jack didn't or rhys flirting with someone else in front of jack or making a joke about breaking up. he never meant it but it was there, underneath everything, but rhys figured it wasn't a big deal. he wasn't ever going to leave jack, so what would he give him the cause to worry? jack's as essential to him as -- as breathing, really. these last few days showcased that. hell, rhys giving in so easily to vault tec showed that too.
when jack grabs him, he doesn't fight it or pull back or anything. at most, he tenses, and it isn't a fear for his safety because -- because jack isn't going to hurt him, right? like, the strangling is fair but aside from that... jack already punched him. they're even? so instead he stares wide eyed at jack and listens to him and it kills him to hear jack saying this, because he knew it. he knew that jack would hate that he ignored him and didn't kill himself but he thought it was -- that it was a necessary evil. if he could make right his mistakes with the others, then he could focus the rest of his time on jack afterwards, right? that seemed like a good trade off to him.
now, he feels guilty and sick. he should've put jack as his priority. he should've ignored ciel and killed himself right there the moment he regained consciousness. he feels sick with the fact that he left jack like this and so he stays quiet and watches jack taunt him with the ring, a matching band to the one on his own hand and he swallows heavily. what can he say? what can he say to make this right?
when jack lets go of him, rhys feels an ache in his chest as jack threatens to kill him because this is his fault. he pushed jack to this point and suddenly, he wonders if he really will be able to fix it? he was so sure he could but jack looks so hurt and rhys just wants to make it better. so, while rhys is silent as jack says his piece, when he's finished rhys just -- well, he takes a step forward.
a few steps forward in fact, until he's in jack's space and lifting his hands to clutch his face, pulling him close to press their foreheads together as he keeps his eyes connected with jack's. his thumbs, one flesh and one metal, slide across jack's face in comforting gestures and while the pressure in his nose still hurts, the blood drying on his face, he doesn't give it any mind over his desperate need to reassure jack here. ]
Jack, Jack. God, Jack. I'm not going to leave you, okay? Not now. Not ever. I told you before and I'll repeat it but I did all of this for you. Everything I ever do is for you. What's -- what's the point otherwise, you know? You just mean so much to me.
[ he falters then slightly, breaking eye contact so he can dart his eyes around jack's face, taking in every detail about him again. his eyes catch on the goatee again and the corner of his mouth pulls slightly in a grin but he doesn't say anything, only continuing to touch gently and keep so very close. ]
You don't have to worry about -- about any of that because I'm never going to leave you? Never again. I'm never going to ignore you or leave you or anything like that because -- I mean, I belong to you, okay? Only you. You're the only person that matters in all of this and if you don't want me then -- then what's the point of being here? Of all of this? Seriously, Jack, I'm never going to leave you. We were away from each other for barely over a day and it killed me. I never want to feel like that again because this -- this here with you? That's all I want, I swear to god.
[ he doesn't want to let go or pull back or stop touching but. he knows he has to and it's with regret that he drops his hands and takes a step back, giving a shaky sigh as he crosses his arms over his chest and looks off to the side. there's a deep need in him to be okay with jack, like a hollow thing inside of him eating away unless he's here with the other man in front of him, acknowledging rhys in some way. it even kills him a little, to see jack without his ring because -- because wasn't that part of it all? to connect them so deeply to each other? ]
All I wanted... all I ever wanted for us, Jack, was this. Me and you here. Safe. Not having to deal with the world out there, or whatever it became, just -- just the two of us. And Judy's servers, Jack? [ he looks to him then, weak smile on his face. ] We're going to be fine. We can't die here and we have -- we have years. Hundreds and hundreds of years to be together. I'm never going to leave you, Jack. Never ever and if I do, if for some fucked up reason I do, kill me anyway since there's no point in living without you. Okay?
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Because once he'd started to come down from his anger and think about whatever life was ahead of him now, Jack knew he couldn't do that alone.
He'd always been a lonely person, and he'd lost girlfriends over his clinginess before, but that's why he loved Rhys. He's reminded of that when Rhys speaks, though the sentiment is tinged with some bitterness now. He's really not sure if he forgives Rhys for what he's done and the fact that they're both here now, but... He doesn't want to lose this. The way that Rhys always supported him and was so unquestioningly devoted was the sort of thing Jack truly felt he needed. It's what Rhys's friends hated about him, about them, because they thought that Jack was selfish in that. He'd always denied it, but in this moment? He feels like he sees their point for the first time.
Maybe his love is selfish. Maybe he just loves to be loved, and Rhys himself doesn't actually matter so much as that.
Jack stops with the idle gesture, and he takes the ring between his fingers. He sighs, and there's a sort of heavy, tired, and emotional exhaustion in that noise, but Jack's response comes in slipping the ring back on his finger.
Because really, even if it's selfish, isn't that better than being alone? ]
Okay. Just-- Okay.
[ He looks back to Rhys as he puts his hands on his hips, then shakes his head. ]
Now, to be clear here, I'm still pretty angry, and it's- Well, that's gonna take time for me to be less pissed. But apology accepted. Ish. Enough for me to not kick you out of our, uh, new house or whatever.
[ A shrug follows, and this time it's Jack stepping forward, though not anywhere close to that dangerous, threatening way of a minute ago. If this were a romantic movie, this would be the point where Jack would give Rhys a kiss, say it's forgiven, and they would live happily ever after. This is probably what Rhys is hoping for. Unfortunately, this is Jack, so he just ends up placing a hand on Rhys's shoulder. It's about the extent of romantic gesture he's capable of at the moment, and his words aren't exactly better. ]
But you're bleeding all over the carpet. So, c'mon, let's get you cleaned up.